Tuesday, July 31, 2007

#73: Fixing Paulino

As promised, I had one final trick up my sleeve to try to fix Ronny Paulino. More on that in a moment.

I am in possession of 2 bobbleheads from this season. Both of which did not require me to purchase a seat at PNC Park with my own money. Or the radio station's money.

The first was Ronny. Again, more on that in a moment.

The second was the two-assed 70's-80's-era Logoman bobblehead. That looks like John Larroquette.

It's totally the eyebrows.
My girlfriend noticed that the crotch looks like an ass.


My other bobblehead is Ronny Paulino. I managed to get that one by asking WMBS Sports Talk Show Host George Von Benko of The Sportsline to pick me up an extra one if he could. At the time, he was writing the wrap ups from the Pirate side for MLB.com, so he'd be in the pressbox.

Paulino was one of my favorites heading into the season and I've been defending his spot on the roster all season. I've acknowledged readily that he needs work and occasionally needs to sit for a while, but this is his first full year in the majors. He's not Mike Piazza and he doesn't have the potential of Matt Weiters.

If you're gonna crucify the guy, make it for lack of effort. I don't see that as cause to give up on him, but I can at least see that argument. Some who pretend to follow baseball more than they really do try to make up statistics that support sending Paulino to Indianapolis, or another team, or the firing squad, whatever.

Paulino is right in the middle in fielding percentage and passed balls of qualified leaders per ESPN.com. Paulino is fourth in the big leagues at throwing out baserunners among qualified leaders. I'm not impressed with a 35% rate at throwing runners out, but there are only 3 catchers doing it better.

And now that Ronny has fixed his stance, he's making contact more and striking out less. The lower-outside corner of the plate isn't getting him out as much anymore. He is not holding his bat as far back in his stance as he used to so he has more time to get to that pitch. His average is starting to come up, finally.

So, all that said, it's time to fix him for good and all.

I received the bobblehead from Mr. Von Benko. Upon opening the box, I discovered that his left arm was broken off at the sleeve (cheap-ass bobblehead).

Nothing a little KrazyGlue® couldn't fix.


Now he's all better. Maybe a little voodoo is what Ronny needs to come back to at least last year's level.

Trade deadline is today. I have no doubt that whatever gets done today, I will be a little less harsh than the other bloggers.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

That looks like John Larroquette. It's totally the eyebrows.
My girlfriend noticed that the crotch looks like an ass.

hahaha - that is amazing

But seriously...now that Ronny has fixed his stance...what an analysis! Impressive!

I wish it was as simple as using Krazy Glue to fix him....I don't want to see him go, though.

But I do like "Doughnut" ;)


7/31/2007 11:28 AM  
Anonymous emma said...

For the record, my problem with Ronny has always been the lack of effort--I mean, if he's not hitting, he's not hitting, but that infamous incident of getting walked and not knowing it? No excuse.

But my real point is, HAHAHAH. If Ronny does well tonight I am going to force you to symbolically fix everybody. The only bobblehead I have at present is Bob Walk. If only there was a Greg Brown one, so I could put some duct tape over his mouth already.

As for trading deadline... very little will get done, looks like. :S

7/31/2007 4:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have that same bobblehead, and had the same problem. When I moved away from Pittsburgh back in October the arm broke off.

9/24/2008 10:47 AM  

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